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Occam’s Razor
Posted 8:08 AM, Aug 29, 2007 |
The tow truck showed up this morning, bright and early, to take my car to the mechanic. He asked me what was wrong with it, I explained it in 15 words or less, he told me to pop the hood, I did, he fiddled with it for 5 seconds, he told me to start it, it did, and the car was repaired.
Sigh. It’s moments like these when I realize I’ve overthought things, perhaps.
The problem was just a loose connection to the battery. Ahem. Cough. Looking away, at floor.
So it turns out, had I listened to some people around YoG, a battery jump-start might have indirectly cured the problem.
As it is, he charged me $40 for the service call, since the tow truck did show up, and that’s it. So I can’t complain, but I can feel sheepish.
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Living Stop to Stop
Posted 12:48 PM, Aug 28, 2007 |
While waiting for the bus to take to work today, I was thinking about writing a post about how the bus system is really pretty handy and not such a bad deal. Then, the bus drove right by me in an effort to make it through a yellow light. It was already 15 minutes late, which meant I had been waiting for 20 minutes, and now would have to wait another 15 minutes for the next bus to come.
It also meant I could not make it to the post office beforehand, nor could one of my employees stop to get some clothes altered because she needed to be at Ye Olde Math Shoppe to open the doors for business, since it was doubtful I would make it on time.
So I’m not so big on the bus system after all.
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Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth
Posted 11:55 AM, Aug 27, 2007 |
While some might consider wailing and gnashing of teeth appropriate for The Lion Plate, a more serious matter has arisen: my car does not start. It also exhibited strange behaviors, such as activating the CD player when the key was not in the ignition, turning on the dome light for no apparent reason, and taking up chewing tobacco.
Well, two out of three of those, anyway.
My car was behaving as if possessed by a poltergeist: flashing lights, the CDs whirring around, dinging, beeping, etc. The suspicion on this end is that it’s internal computer has gone wonky, causing it to do (apparently) whatever it wants to, except start. Starting would be a nice touch.
As it is, it will have to be towed. But, of course, it’s currently parked in a garage where a tow truck can’t get to it, so the EC and I (mostly I) have to figure out how to get it to the garage gate or outside the garage so the tow truck can pick it up Wednesday morning. This doesn’t seem difficult to the average person, but where the car is parked, even though in the garage, is somehow on a downhill slope.
In the past, I had to get the car jump-started once and we had to push it out of its spot to get access to the battery. It was not an easy task, and was, in fact, un-doable by the EC and I alone. So that is my mission, now. Maybe the poltergeist in the car will help us.
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End of an Era
Posted 10:01 AM, Aug 27, 2007 |
Today I discovered a large, irreparable crack in what is known, around YoG HQ, as “The Lion Plate.” The Lion Plate is a plate, about half the size of a standard dinner plate, made of some near-indestructible plastic. It has a picture of a lion on it.
The Lion Plate has long been a favorite around here - easy to clean, a comfortable size, and a pretty lion picture. It’s been the go-to plate ever since The Pizza Plate broken in half.
Yesterday, the EC dropped The Lion Plate on the ground. It’s plastic, and near-indestructible (see above, where I just said that), and so it seemed fine. But today, I used it for breakfast and noticed a large crack in it. I think it’s done for.
The really unfortunate thing is that I don’t think the EC knows. This is my way of telling her. I’ve also left the plate out on the counter. I considered fashioning some sort of “plate shroud” out of black velvet, but I don’t have time, especially after writing this.
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Weekend
Posted 8:50 AM, Aug 27, 2007 |
What a weekend.
In addition to playing Frisbee on Saturday, I also lawn bowled Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. On Sunday, the club held an impromptu pairs tournament in which my teammate and I went 3-0, winning a whopping $16 each.
The Twins finished off a four-game sweep of Baltimore.
I guess that doesn’t sound like much for one weekend… Oh, I also sort-of learned how to play Band on the Run, Judy Blue Eyes, and Norwegian Wood. Sort of.
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“I Thought It Was Coffee, Man”
Posted 2:58 PM, Aug 24, 2007 |
Juan Valdes (sic), the former Colombian coffee spokesman, has been suspended 50 games for violating baseball’s minor league drug rules. Valdez, out of work since the late 1980s, recently began a new career: professional baseball. Colombians view Valdez’s new career much like Americans viewed Michael Jordan’s stint in minor league ball - with a curious sense of interest, and the unspoken understanding that he should have just faded away.
Valdez, reached for comment regarding the suspicion, only said, “I thought it was coffee, man, some new kind of coffee.”
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25 (or 26) Weirdest Animals
Posted 9:10 AM, Aug 24, 2007 |
Cryptozoological update: Here’s a list, with some great photos, of the 25 weirdest animals. Since I first found it, they’ve added one, the leafy seadragon, so maybe there’s 26 on the list.
The site also has some awesome photos of other deep sea fishes, as well as some remarkable photos from Antarctica. Check them all out. It’s a poorly-designed site, but no less remarkable a list.
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Upper Paleolithic Man
Posted 4:27 PM, Aug 22, 2007 |
So we celebrated a birthday here at YoG HQ last week. I turned 29, quietly, but feel more like I turned 59.
I was grumpy before, but I’m grumpier now. I spend a fair amount of my days shaking my head and muttering things about “those kids today.” I don’t understand teen comedies, obviously, as Superbad is the critical darling of the afternoon. I spend a fair amount of my time hanging out with retirees at the lawn bowling green.
The city is too loud.
Television commercials are nonsense. And too loud.
If the average life expectancy is 67, I feel like Upper Paleolithic man, whose life expectancy was 33 years. I wonder what kinds of things Upper Paleolithic men got cranky about? Ill-crafted stone tools? Sucking on bone marrow that didn’t taste quite right?
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CD Remnants
Posted 11:28 PM, Aug 20, 2007 |
Today I took a box of CDs over to Amoeba Records in Hollywood. Time to lighten my materialistic load and take another step towards Nirvana - or, sell Nirvana, as it were. I don’t know how many CDs I sold - quite a bit, almost $300 worth in trade, which, if you know anything about how little you get for CDs in trade, means I had quite a few CDs. But the most interesting part of the process was the 20 or so CDs that they didn’t buy. A partial list is below - take a look at your local CD store’s used CD racks. I guarantee you’ll find these there, and if you don’t, let me know - I have an extra copy.
Recently EP by the Dave Matthews Band
Harbor Lights by Bruce Hornsby
Animal Rights by Moby
Relish by Joan Osborne
Ten by Pearl Jam
Kerosene Hat by Cracker
God Shuffled His Feet by Crash Test Dummies
Recovering the Satellites by Counting Crows
August and Everything After by Counting Crows
and the big winner, one of the perennial used-CD rack finds:
Throwing Copper by Live.
I never owned R.E.M.’s Monster, if you’re wondering.
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Superbad
Posted 11:32 PM, Aug 19, 2007 |
The EC and I just read about aptonyms the other week on the Freakonomics blog. Aptonyms are people whose names and occupations have a close correspondence - for example, an artist named Helen Painter is an aptonym. While I couldn’t find aptonym in any sort of dictionary, the closest thing to a definition (above) states that an aptonym is a person. If aptonyms could also be teen comedies, Superbad would be the ideal example.
Superbad should have been a decent movie, if not outstanding, but it strays in the first, say, five minutes. It sets a tone and lays out the topic for virtually every joke in the movie with a scene in which the two main characters talk about sex and genitalia. So, I guess if you think that’s funny, this might be the movie for you.
I’m not being prudish, and I wasn’t offended, or even shocked, as some critics have probably been (everyone’s a critic, so I’m sure, somewhere…) - in fact, quite the opposite. I was bored. I didn’t like Superbad for the same reason I don’t listen to Christian rock - it might be well-made, but it’s the same topic over and over again, so I really can’t focus long enough to tell.
Superbad does have its (very brief) moments, mostly moments of sincerity (that are somehow still funny, even without mention of genitalia) and also some surreal moments that are so weird they’re funny. But these genuinely funny moments are so few and far between, especially in a comedy that runs almost 2 hours long, that they lose 75% of any comedy or sincere impact they might have, since you have to rouse yourself out of the movie’s self-created stupor of stupidity.
I saw Fast Times at Ridgemont High and I didn’t “get it.” I didn’t see Meatballs or Porky’s or Revenge of the Nerds or any of those other “quintessential” teen comedies, but I don’t think I would’ve gotten those, either. Again, though, if you liked those, Superbad is probably good Friday-night fodder for you.
Based on the primarily-teenaged audience’s response when I went, Superbad is hilarious, a movie that makes you feel overwhelmed with laughter. For me, though, it just made me feel old and out of touch with those crazy kids.
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Good Ideas
Posted 12:37 AM, Aug 16, 2007 |
I have had two good ideas lately. Yes, just two.
1) Writing blurbs about blurbs. Yeah, so that idea isn’t even that good. But this one:
2) I want to make a movie where famous movie characters are the actors. I’d like to make a movie where John Travolta plays Vincent Vega playing a nosy mailman, and where Bruce Willis plays Detective John McClain playing a suburban, stay-at-home dad, and where Mark Hamill plays Luke Skywalker playing a furniture salesman. It would be difficult to make and really tough to get it to pay off, but if it worked, well, it would be genius.
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Gallery: DCI World Championships
Posted 2:58 PM, Aug 12, 2007 |
Last night the EC and I (and the EC’s pal, Alan) went to the Drum and Bugle Corps World Championships at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. Despite not understanding or knowing anything about the drum and bugle corps, it was pretty entertaining. There were stories about horses, Billy Joel’s “Pressure”, and a corps whose songs were all Genesis covers. So I took some pictures.
DCI World Championships
Our seats were pretty good for viewing, but not so good for taking pictures of the field and the corps, so I took a lot of pictures of people in the crowd. It was fun. I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I enjoyed taking them for you.
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Twitter + Fireland
Posted 11:51 AM, Aug 9, 2007 |
Lately, a lot of blogs (okay, two) that I love have been reduced to people posting via Twitter. Twitter, for those that don’t know, basically lets you post mindless one-or-two line entries about things like when you couldn’t find aspirin, or how you’re “eating orange sherbert mmmm” (which is actually an entire Twitter entry by itself.) Sure, don’t like it, don’t read it, but it’s replacing stuff I really liked to read - that’s the problem.
Even though this particular post didn’t take much thought, it did take 10x more thought than “Getting ready to go out. Gonna get drunkkkk” (actual Twitter entry).
Someone explain to me why Twitter is interesting, please. And for those of you who have converted your blogs to this mindlessness, please come back. (Except for Fireland, who has been posting things like:
“Sitting out back by the power station, smoking cloves. Ma’s trying to figure out ‘Janie’s Got a Gun’ on the uke. The air is choked w/ennui.”
and
“‘August is a mean, sweaty woman but at least she ain’t July.’ — Waylon Jennings quote I just made up.”
Go, Fireland, go.
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Event 14155260
Posted 9:04 AM, Aug 9, 2007 |
While it feels like I’m still waiting for the first rainfall since arriving in Los Angeles, the fact is that I was still waiting for the first earthquake, at least until last night.
It was one that you probably won’t read about in the papers, unless you subscribe to the United States Geological Service’s Quakes and Shakes: The Jello Earth Herald, which is not a real paper. The USGS fittingly described last night’s 4.5 quake as “Event 14155260,” which is almost as memorable as other favorites, “Event 14004398” and the blockbuster “Event 13873631,” which I’m sure you remember.
Our here in good old 90049, Event 14155260 registered as somewhere around a 3, based on 23 reports from “field reporters,” also known as your average person with no special skills at all, other than the ability to feel earth shaking and describe it with varying degrees of accuracy.
It happened around 1 this morning, just as I was drifting off to sleep. I thought it was the EC’s restless leg or what-have-you, and was actually about to wake her up and tell her to quit it when she told me it was an earthquake. That’s right - I confused an earthquake with restless leg syndrome of someone who doesn’t even have restless leg syndrome.
Everything here is fine - no books or art on the floor. Situation normal.
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Grand Slam
Posted 10:37 PM, Aug 7, 2007 |
Warning: incredibly geeky post ahead.
If you’re not watching the Game Show Network’s Grand Slam on weekends in August, or at least Tivoing it, you’re missing out. It’s a sixteen-person tournament of champions among some of the biggest money-winners in game show history, including Ken Jennings and Tic Tac Dough superstar Thom McKee, who appeared on 46 consecutive days and won 43 games. (His record of 43 wins was surpassed only by Jennings’ 74.)
Grand Slam is awesome for many reasons.
1) It features a numbers and logic round that is not mind-numbingly easy. When Jeopardy! has a math round, it’s things like, “This shape is defined as having 3 sides,” or other lame things. Usually, Jeopardy! has clues of a pretty decent difficulty, but not when it comes to math. However, Grand Slam doesn’t hesitate to ask you to do 45 squared in your head. Sure, it isn’t as interesting, but it’s challenging.
2) Grand Slam has a fun words and letters round with anagrams and hidden words and stuff.
3) It’s fast-paced. It’s on par with Jeopardy! and Merv Griffin’s Crosswords, and puts the 8-questions-per-hour rate of shows like 1 vs. 100 to shame.
4) It’s hosted, in part, by Dennis Miller, who is insane and a pretty excellent, funny host, and this from someone who doesn’t really like Miller.
You can check out the bracket here - even though the game is considerably different than anything most have played before, I have a hard time not picking a final with the #1 and #2 seeds, Jennings vs. Jeopardy! superstar and only the second person to beat Jennings at the big J! (next to alien-named Nancy Zerg), Brad Rutter. (What an introduction - they should use that on the air.)
So anyway, then I’m picking Jennings, I guess, just because he’s bothering to blog about Grand Slam - like me, but funnier.
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Almost Enough
Posted 11:13 AM, Aug 7, 2007 |
The fact that there isn’t any website configured at walk.com is almost enough to make me register it. (Upon closer inspection, it actually is registered to someone, but they don’t appear to be using it.) But how can a company not have already registered walk.com? You’d think, like, Nike or Adidas or someone would’ve. (Run.com is a site to find running routes, which may be of interest to some users of this site who like to run for no apparent reason. I like to run after things, like frisbees or, while I have a stick in hand, dogs that have bitten me.)
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Debriefing
Posted 5:08 PM, Aug 4, 2007 |
Well, I spent all day Friday waiting to tape my episode of Merv Griffin’s Crosswords, and finally got in and taped the sixth show of the day. Due to confidentiality and all that, I can’t reveal what happens, but here’s the scoop:
It’s a tough game. The clues come fast, they’re pretty tough, with some tricky wordplay and punny clues thrown in, and you’ve got three people breathing down your neck, waiting to jump on your first mistake.
It’s on par with Jeopardy! for sheer toughness, although Jeopardy!’s toughness comes mostly from trivia, and Crosswords’ is from strange words, thinking outside the box, and wordplay. So it’s a different kind of game.
The show starts airing September 10th here in Los Angeles, and will air two new episodes per day, at 3:00 and 3:30, on NBC. That’s right, they’re putting my handsome mug up against Oprah. Oprah, you and I have squabbled and had our fights in the past, and this is the ultimate showdown.
The show is syndicated, so check your local listings, your mileage may vary, etc.
Unfortunately, the way the game is structured, the best player doesn’t always win. But sometimes the best player wins. Not that I’m saying I’m the best player. Or the worst.
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Big Day
Posted 9:43 PM, Aug 2, 2007 |
Also, (this is the record for fastest three posts in YoG history), tomorrow is the day that I take on Merv Griffin’s Crosswords and do serious damage to Griffin’s bankroll as well as put my unwashable mark on the game show industry as a whole. If that sounds awful, well, you’re right.
And, lastly, as a side note (instead of making a whole new post), I saw Ernie Banks, Mr. Cub, on the Dodgers broadcast tonight - for those of you not interested in baseball or reading, tune out … now - wearing a hat embroidered with the quadratic formula, of all things. I’m sure there’s a story there.
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Adventures in the Blogosphere
Posted 9:36 PM, Aug 2, 2007 |
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention, even now, a week late, that the EC and I hung out with Jenny and it was, as usual, a low-pressure, enthusiastic, fun-was-had-by-all time. My delay in mentioning it isn’t due to anything other than my general lazi- and forgetfulness. Jenny is my best internet friend, and always entertaining.
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Bridge
Posted 9:29 PM, Aug 2, 2007 |
I thought for a bit about what to say about the Minneapolis bridge collapse, but didn’t come up with anything, really, apart from the obvious. I’ve been on that bridge many times, although not in the last year-and-a-half, and I know people who use the bridge every day. As far as I know, all those people are fine, but there are plenty that aren’t fine, so that doesn’t, necessarily, make it any less of a disaster.
Not interested in assigning blame, nor watching endless news coverage, I don’t have much else to say, and maybe that is the best thing to say after all.
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All Quiet on the Northern Front
Posted 12:22 AM, Aug 1, 2007 |
A rare baseball post; those who know me know I’m kind of a baseball nut. For instance, tonight I was excited because I correctly identified San Francisco Giants’ player Randy Winn by face alone. If you’re saying, “Randy who?” then you understand I’m kind of a baseball dork.
But so anyway:
The baseball trade deadline passed today, and the closest thing the Twins did to improve their team was to watch Kevin Garnett get traded for five Boston Celtics. If you do the attendance math, the Twins could sell four extra tickets for each Twins home game during the NBA season, during a Timberwolves homestand, that doesn’t conflict with a Timberwolves game. That’s got to be, what, about 16 additional tickets per year. Enough to buy Terry Ryan and Carl Pohlad each a couple of Dome Dogs on the fans’ precious dime.
Yowzah!
The Twins did manage to trade away .300+ hitter Luis Castillo in their effort to find a hitter. But… isn’t Castillo a hitter? Hm?
Oh, so they wanted a power hitter. Got it. So that’s why they were pursuing Morgan Ensberg, the former Astros 3B who was recently demoted to AAA? I guess maybe he was demoted because he was such an overpowering home run threat he was really upsetting the balance of the game…
Nope. He was batting .232 with 8 home runs. Sure, that’s 8 more than Castillo, but which would you rather have?
The Twins also managed to upset, and I mean really upset Johan Santana, who had the following to say after the Twins came up empty (again) at the trade deadline:
“You always talk about future, future… But if you only worry about the future, then I guess a lot of us won’t be part of it.”
“It’s never going to be beyond this point. It doesn’t make any sense for me to be here, you know?”
“I’ve been here for eight years… I’ve seen a lot of those guys [like Castillo] come in and leave. [The decision makers] don’t care. They always talk about caring about it; I don’t think they care.”
“They protect their organization, their roots, everything. But I guess I won’t be a part of it. A lot of guys don’t feel like they can be part of it, and they have to move on.”
Got it?
Sure, Terry Ryan’s budget is limited by the stingy Pohlad, but come on, man. You’ve got pitchers coming out of your ears, from Santana (for now) and Garza to the emerging Baker to guys like Bonser (form your own opinions) and Slowey who’s still cranking away in AAA. Oh, and you didn’t forget about Francisco Liriano, did you? So what are you saving everyone for? These guys are all in the majors or in AAA, and you’ve got a wealth of additional talent beyond that, in AA and probably all the way to A ball. Good thing you managed to hang on to all that. Unfortunately, it might cost you Santana after 2008.
The good news is, if the Twins don’t resign Santana, that will free up some money for the Twins to maybe think about putting in some seat warmers at the new park. (I barely managed to avoid making another crack about Carl Pohlad here.)
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